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[24 Dec 2009|06:45pm] |
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Christmas tomorrow
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[01 Dec 2009|06:55pm] |
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poor neglected livejournal
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| It made me feel better (letters from the sky - civil twilight) |
[20 Oct 2009|06:32pm] |
One of these days the sky's gonna break and everything will escape and I'll know
One of these days the mountains are gonna fall into the sea and they'll know
That you and I were made for this
I was made to taste your kiss
We were made to never fall away
Never fall away
One of these days letters are gonna fall from the sky telling us all to go free
But until that day I'll find a way to let everybody know that you're coming back, you're coming back for me
'Cause even though you left me here I have nothing left to fear
These are only walls that hold me here
Hold me here, hold me here
The only walls to hold me here
One day soon I'll hold you like the sun holds the moon
And we will hear those planes overhead and we won't have to be scared
We won't have to be scared, we won't have to be scared
You're coming back for me
You're coming back for me
You're coming back to me
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[19 Aug 2009|09:14am] |
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I really enjoyed yesterday. All for the right reasons also which is wonderful
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[17 Aug 2009|11:35pm] |
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The longer I stay up the more chance I have of sleeping. Sometimes I feel certain things so much it makes me feel physically sick. Self pity makes the world go round but the time before is always seen as better than now despite, at the time, being close to the end of what we could bear. Everyone's a hypocrite pretending they practice what they preach when, honestly, we just assume that we are always the better person with the right to moan. I think certain things are wrong for the wrong reasons and I'm so codependent I forget that I make my own first impression. I miss my second home not just because of people. I have an identity there. Built a life, this is who I am, this is what I do, these are my friends. Here the lines aren't so clean. These are my friends who I love and these are my friends who I hate but keep coming back to. I judge people, even people who I've known for years. One of the things I miss is ambition. I am ambitious, I thrive on it and love seeing it in other people but here it's like the world stopped turning. Dare to dream... People don't get all fired up like they used to
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[04 Jun 2009|06:19pm] |
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Things are nice right now
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[19 Apr 2009|10:28am] |
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I Would like it to be summer now please as apposed to this misleading light in my window that lies
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| Yoink (sorry) [No I will not do an LJ cut, there's nothing on your friends page anyway] |
[11 Mar 2009|07:29am] |
—YOUR BOY SIDE—-
[x] You love hoodies.
[x] You love jeans.
[ ] Dogs are better than cats.
[x] It’s hilarious when people get hurt.
[x] Shopping is torture
[ ] Sad movies suck.
[ ] You own a car racing game.
[x] You played with Hot Wheels cars as a kid.
[ ] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[ ] You owned a DS, PS2, N64,or Sega.
[x] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[x] You have watched sports on TV
[x] Gory movies are cool.
[x] You go to your dad for advice.
[ ] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[ ] You used to collect hockey cards.
[ ] Baggy sweats are cool to wear.
[ ] It’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[ ] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[ ] Sports are fun
[ ] You talk with food in your mouth.
[x] You sleep with your socks on at night.
[ ] You have fished at least once
—-YOUR GIRL SIDE—-
[ ] You love to shop.
[x] You wear eyeliner
[ ] You wear the color pink.
[x] You go to your mom to talk.
[ ] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[ ] You hate wearing the color black.
[ ] You like going to the mall.
[ ] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[x] You like wearing jewelry.
[x] You cried watching The Notebook.
[x] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[ ] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[ ] You don’t like the movie Star Wars
[ ] You are/were in gymnastics
[x] It takes you around one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up (my hair takes a long time to dry)
[x] You smile a lot more than you should.
[x] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[ ] You care about what you look like.
[x] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[ ] You like wearing high heel shoes.
[x] You used to play with dolls as little kid.
[x] You like putting make-up on others.
[ ] You like being the star of everything.
[ ] Pink is one of your favorite colors.
Appearance •
[x] I am shorter than 5′5″.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I tan/ burn easily. (tan, I never burn)
[x] I wish my hair was a different colour (it's original colour not THIS colour)
[x] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair colour.
[x] I have a tattoo.
[ ] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I’ve had/have braces.
[x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than two piercings.
[ ] I have / had piercings in places besides my ears.
• Embarrassment •
[ ] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
[x] I’ve glued my hand to something (my other hand)
[x] I’ve laughed ’til some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ ] I’ve had my pants rip in public.
• Health •
[ ] I’ve gotten stitches.
[ ] Broken a bone.
[ ] I’ve had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
[ ] I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I’ve had serious surgery.
[x] I’ve had chicken pox.
• Traveling •
[x] I’ve driven / riden over 200 miles in one day (been driven)
[x] I’ve been on a plane.
[x] I’ve been to Canada.
[ ] I’ve been to Cuba.
[x] I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I’ve been to Ottawa.
[ ] I’ve gone to Sudbury.
[ ] I’ve been to the Caribbean.
[x] I’ve been to Europe.
[ ] I’ve been to Florida.
• Experiences •
[x] I’ve gotten lost in my city.
[ ] I’ve seen a shooting star.
[ ] I’ve wished on a shooting star.
[ ] I’ve seen a meteor shower.
[x] I’ve gone out in public in my pyjamas
[x] I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I’ve been to a casino.
[ ] I’ve been skydiving.
[ ] I’ve gone skinny-dipping.
[ ] I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I’ve crashed a car.
[ ] I’ve been skiing.
[x] I’ve been in a musical.
[x] I’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
[ ] I’ve seen the Northern Lights (oh i wish)
[ ] I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
[ ] I’ve played a prank on someone.
[x] I’ve ridden in a taxi.
[x] I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show ( the film. I want to see the show)
[ ] I’ve eaten Sushi.
[ ] I’ve been snowboarding.
• Relationships •
[ ] I’m single.
[x] I’m in a relationship. Very much so
[ ] I’m engaged.
[ ] I’m married.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced.
[ ] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[x] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
• Honesty / Crime •
[x] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve snuck out.
[x] I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[ ] I’ve ran a red light.
[x] I’ve witnessed a crime.
[ ] I’ve been in a fist fight.
[ ] I’ve been arrested.
• Death and Suicide •
[x] I’m afraid of dying.
[ ] I hate funerals.
[x] I’ve seen someone / something dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted / committed suicide.
[ ] I’ve planned my own suicide before.
[ ] I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
• Materialism •
[ ] I own over 5 rap CD’s.
[x] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime / manga.
[ ]I own designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collected comic books.
[x] I own something from The Gap.
[ ] I own something I got on E-Bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie
• Random •
[ ] (apparently) I can sing well .
[ ] Stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I don’t kill bugs. Unless driving where I cant help it
[x] I sing in the shower.
[x] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair.
[x] I care about grammar.
[ ] I have “?”’s in my screen name.
[ ] I love spam.
[ ] I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
[x] I bake well.
[x] My favourite colour is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange.
[x] I would wear pyjamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes
[ ] I eat fast food weekly.
[ ] I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ ] I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I like white chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails.But I'm quitting, I am. I am
[x] I’m good at remembering faces.
[ ] I’m good at remembering names.
[x] I’m good at remembering dates.
[ ] honestly have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] All my answers were totally honest
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[21 Feb 2009|09:18am] |
I came to a realization recently, be it the shiny sunny sunny shine going to my head or just that fact that I'm on top of things for once but I am actually happy here. This is a new and Exciting development for me. Yes it's a small town and yes I love my Bristol but Bristol isn't going to fall just because I'm not there. The thing that makes me keep coming back (although not in the same way rach is. Seriously every weekend. The girl commutes) is the people. My lovely boyfin who I have never appreciated more. Nothing like being surrounded by people who aren't Daniel to make me remember why i like him. Seriously, I actually miss the scar at the top of his nose, I do. I miss not seeing those things about him that I remember so vividly. Monogamy isn't difficult, as the moldy peaches so well described 'I don't see what anyone could see in anyone else'.
I miss my family too. I have always known that my family is not as other families but I never thought of us as being spectacularly close until you discover not many people have actual conversations with their parents, which is sad because obviously you have a few major things in common.
Still, this time in 6 days I will be sitting in a seminar room staring at my watch and fidgeting. Then at 3 of the clock I shall be boarding teh train and finally getting to grips with Twilight which, although not a difficult book I haven't read since I got annoyed and lost my place. In that order. I've just being carrying it around in the hope that I might summon up the desire to read it again. Not as of yet.
Right now I'm hungry as and there is a PJ waffleiron asleep on my floor so I'm going to go and make boiled eggs for me and use up all the bread, mwahahahahaha. I'm not the best host
S'later
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[14 Feb 2009|05:12pm] |
When you feel that loves unfair you just ask the loooonely
I can't seem to STOP listening to Journey
That's some damn fine 70's soft rock...
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[31 Jan 2009|07:03pm] |
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Seriously, I feel like I'm the only one who has something to say and to be honest, I'm a little sick of me
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[19 Jan 2009|07:10pm] |
I don't know if this is what's called 'growing up'.
Everything used to be so difficult, everything was a problem, a poem, the end of the world. Some how that has transformed into, fuck it. If something has to be done it has to be done and there's no point spending a month ranting to your friends about how unfortunate you are. 'Poor me, I have assignments, money problems and family conflicts' said...everyone. I think it's perfectly normal to spend your teenage years thinking your problems are the worst. You wallow in your misfortune but then, over years you come to the conclusion that people should be remembering what you achieved and overcame, not how much you *sob* went through.
In a way, I miss it. I miss talking about how hard it is to be unloved, how hard it is to be in love, how difficult it is to come to terms with yourself. The only problem being I don't believe it anymore. I have, and it was tough, come to accept the fact that there are people out there who love me unconditionally, that hard work is more effective than relying on your wit and your charm and that exercise and eating healthily actually do make you feel better.
I still have a lot of feelings, I still fear an incredible amount of things but it's nice to think about the moment rather than the possible outcomes of the moment. So, as the alcoholic said to the cashier, 'one day at a time'
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| Everything's coming up Millhouse |
[13 Jan 2009|04:33pm] |
So I'm sitting on my bed surrounded by books on cookery, the industrial revolution, Blake and William henry Jackson sort of glancing at my essay with masterchef on in the background wondering when it's acceptable to start cooking tea and if chicken in a peppercorn sauce on a bed of rice will be amazing or foul. Dammit, I must use up that chicken carcass. I've spent today learning, shooting and then wondering if the camera has shredded my film now I'm scared to open it in case it has an my time stalking that robin was wasted. On the plus side I know where it lives now so I can sit around there with my digital camera at the weekend if it's not pissing it down. Today beautiful sunshine then pissing it down soon as I got indoors. Also, yay for caffeine because yesterday i was so tired but slept awfully and was then more tired and now I'm still riding the cappuccino wave even thought I drank it 3 hours ago. I think I might go and cook that chicken cause i am not in the essay frame of mind yet.
Today I'm going to test out a sleep theory, the idea is that you need 90 minute complete sleep cycles and if you get woken up during a cycle it throws you off all day so If I start reading at 11 I should be able to get all my sleeping done by 7ish without feeling as bad as I did this fair morn.
See you later calculators
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[01 Jan 2009|06:11pm] |
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POST!
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[27 Nov 2008|05:16pm] |
I was getting annoyed because my headphones were only playing through one ear, so i prepared to send them away and bought some cheap one, which did the same thing, with the same ear so I checked them on my laptop and it's my ipod. Thankfully it's still under warranty (in your face one year warranty, you've been extended) but i really don't want to send it away. For one i'll miss it and what if they send me a new one? i'll have to reload everything...
Anyway, i feel very befriended. Everyone's stressed about upcoming deadlines and the amount of additional work we've been given so I've have been talking to everyone but some people are turning out to be really nice. Emily is so nice and helpful. Plus she doesn't judge you which is nice and patrick answers my stupid questions and lends me pinecones and lets me buy half a box of film off of him, gigi is actually hilarious, we were discussing korean dog shows when i realised, we actually have a very similar sense of humour and rach is so sweet. She was so apologetic for flaking on me presentation wise. So, yeah, on the whole I know people. Everyone's really eager to get home though. We're all exhausted and with next friday's deadline (5th) and then jo's deadline (9th) then tutorials (9th-12th) everyone's saying 'i just want to get this done and go home so i can see my family and my friends and...christmas' I still remember when the lead up to christmas meant you did nothing, now the lecturers leave everything til the last minute it's very 'btw, landscape pictures' and 'assessment' I'll get it done, I will. I just have to manage my time well.
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[26 Nov 2008|06:57pm] |
I went into truro today. I have now done the majority of my christmas shopping. And wrapped it. Whoops. I would, however like to share a few things that puzzled, annoyed or amused me during todays gallivanting.
*Slow walkers. Walk faster!
*Grumpy sales assistants. Yes your job is horrible but it's not my fault
*I actually genuinely overheard this conversation between two slow walking girls in front of me:
'She's so grumpy about it'
'Yeah, I know she really hates christmas and it's like "cheer up"'
'Do you think it's because of what happened to her last year?'
'What when she was raped, yeah maybe'
Oh...my...god
*Kids on trains
*Changing rooms (why make the curtain so short? I don't want everyone to see my leggles)
*Queues
*The girl in topshop who after taking student discount off of my purchases said omg, 666 (£66.60) how unlucky is that?' And when I was leaving said 'be careful, okay' that really made me laugh
* Daniel is arriving at my house in around 48 hours, this makes me happy
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[23 Nov 2008|02:18pm] |
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I have too many clothes so I'm being ruthless. As apposed to sentimental. Streamline and cut down.
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[23 Nov 2008|10:22am] |
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Bit worried about the weather. the rain actually looks like it's being thrown down
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[22 Nov 2008|07:47am] |
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I'm having some rage issues. I've almost entirely lost the knot in my stomach that has been there near constantly for most of my life so I'm happier and I'm more comfortable. I'm not sure what's wrong. I've always been fairly angry and I've always struggled to show it so I've always then projected onto anyone I feel comfortable with when I do snap. Which I always regret. I don't know how to vent anymore and the triggers get smaller and smaller as it builds. One day it's the person stood up on the bus with their elbow at the same level as my face, the next it's something ridiculous like someone moving a plate I left on the draining board and I'm scared because soon I'm going to see the person I care about most: the person I'm most comfortable with. It's been a long time since I said something really decimating to my relationship and I'm pretty sure it's at the point where I can't crucify it by saying one thing but that doesn't mean it doesn't play on my mind. I have this evil ability of being able to subconsciously work out what would hurt someone most and it's stored in my brain so when I do snap these words tumble out of my mouth and sometimes I can't take them back.
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| Chestnut Pennywhistle |
[21 Nov 2008|04:04pm] |
Just a quick run down of the Guillemots last night before I poach some eggs.
We got their 7:30 which was waaaay to early as we were stood around til 8:30.
The first part was an experimental idea in which they showed two films from the cornwall shorts awards and improvised a backing track to them. The first film was called Yuki and was amazing. A japanese girl, long straight hair and a dress frolicking in a garden then another girl dressed the same, same hair, really similar looking, appares from behind her, then loads of them then the camera pans to reveal a story of this girl done using loads of people dressed to look like one. They were all positions and you started to think some of them couldn't be real people til you see the last girl and then everyone moves. You really have to see it for it to make sense.
The second short film was called 'easy money' and was basically a high speed heist and chase on rollerskates. Through a city I don't recognise but it's full of travelaters. If I'm honest I found it quite scary. A lot of it was filmed from thei perspective so you were visually dragged aroun a multistorey car park which made me feel a bit weird.
Then some shuffling, then the music part. Vocally, they're the best band I've ever seen live. The crowd was a bit meh. Most people were just swaying the only people dancing were the irritating drunk girls to my right who kept standing on me until my sharp elbows accidentally on purpose kept getting in their way. The tall people all collectively arrived late and gathered in front of me. Stand at the side, you will still be able to see, I am near the front because i won't. Stupid evoltionary quirks. I blame the lack of oxygen at such high altitude, can make some tall people a bit thick. I said some and you all mock me. I can be heightist too.
Whoa, tangent
One thing that struck me (other than how long I had to mentally send 'play trains to brazil' before they did) was how many instruments they can all play. They basically switched around. They also had amazing names.
Fyfe Dangerfield (also Fyfe Antony Dangerfield Hutchins) the lead singer (and a man who cannot keep his head still when he sings) played the keyboard, the electric guitar and the acoustic guitar,
MC Lord Magrão played guitar, bass, keyboard and did some vocals
Greig Stewart (also known as Rican Caol was on drums and percussion (including a bin lid at one point)
Aristazabal Hawkes, the only girl, started out on the drums, then moved to bass, all the while doing vocals, then sits at the keyboard then brings out her double bass. Amazing.
I'll stop going on about it now, except to say, what posessed the balding man in front of me to sport a rat tail? *shakes head*
The yes mice, I love you all
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